Be Kind to Yourself

Be Kind to Yourself

A few years ago a guy wrote a book titled Finding the Boyfriend Within. I always joked that I was sick of finding the boyfriend within, that I was ready to find the boyfriend without, I was sick of dating myself, sick of going home with myself and having sex with myself. But some of what he said does make sense, like being kind to yourself helps make yourself ready for a relationship should one come along. Here are 11 ways in which you can do simple easy things to be kind to yourself and find a boyfriend, and even if you don’t you will feel great about yourself. And that is uber attractive.

1. Clean your house. It seems like a simple thing, but if you care enough about your surroundings that will show through in the rest of your life. One of the easiest tasks is to make your bed every morning. It’s a small thing that can give you a sense of accomplishment all day long…plus it’s nice to have a made up bed should someone come over later that night!

2. Groom yourself. Most of what I first notice about someone is how they take care of themselves. I’m not talking about gym bodies versus fat or anything like that, but I do notice if someone has a uni brow, if their hair needs to be cut, or if they have nose hair. Zen Salon has some great stylists (and great scenery) for pretty inexpensive. Any of the nail salons do waxing, including nose waxing which I’ve recently become a fan of. Yes it hurts, but not as much as seeing hair growing out of your nose. Check your ears too once you get to a certain age. I’m not even going to get into making sure you wear deodorant. That should be a no brainer.

3. Eat a small amount of chocolate. This may send the buff contingent into paroxysms but truly less than an ounce of dark chocolate every day is good for your heart…and your psyche…indulge in this one thing in moderation.

4. Turn off the TV and pick up a book. While it may be fun to talk about the latest episode of Jersey Shore or the Hills on a date, most people will be more impressed if you have some working knowledge of literature. Some of my favorite genres are biographies, Jane Austen, and the new crop of political tomes about the 2008 election. A rainy day and a well worn copy ofMiddlemarch can do wonders for you.

5. Get Moving. Exercise can be cheap…you can get up early in the morning and walk at a brisk pace which will help your stress level all day. If you can’t afford expensive tennis shoes, go to Target or Nordstrom Rack. They have very inexpensive workout shoes. Also, pick a sport you’ve always wanted to play and play it. I played softball last year for a team in the spring and the fall and it was a blast! I met lots of great people and banished some of the demons I had from first grade baseball.

6. Go to a museum. Dallas has tons of great museums and many of them are free. Of course the DMA and the Nasher are the obvious choices, but don’t overlook the Meadow’s museum at SMU which has free Thursday nights (great idea for a date) . Also, get on the mailing list for places like the MAC or other galleries. They are always having parties to show off new work. You don’t have to buy anything and it’s a great place to meet people.

7. Take a bath. One of my ex boyfriends turned me on to baths. I buy Dr. Bronwyn’s soap from Whole Foods or sometimes I buy bath salts from Cleopatra’s Choice, a great online resource for skin care. If you don’t have time to take a bath, take a sponge bath with Dr. Bronwyn’s and warm water just before you go to bed. It will make you sleep peacefully.

8. Meditate. Meditation is always difficult for me. It’s hard to shut off my grumbly mind sometimes. But if I can do deep breathing exercises for 10 minutes in the morning before I go to work I have a less stressful day.

9. Do something nice for someone and don’t tell anyone. This one is self explanatory. The only requirement is that you cannot tell anyone what you have done.

10. Volunteer. There are lots of non profits in Dallas that need good volunteers. It’s a great way to give back to your community while also meeting like minded people. In the past I’ve volunteered at Nelson Tebedo Clinic, AIDS Arms, LifeWalk, Dallas Legal Hospice, Youth First Texas and AIDS Resource Center. I can tell you that when I volunteer I always feel better about myself.

11. Smile. I see so many guys around Oak Lawn who seem so unhappy, never smiling, looking at their feet as they walk around. It can’t be as bad as all that sausage. Try to smile a little and wear life as a loose garment. It will draw people to you.

The most important thing to remember is what a friend told me one time when I was complaining about not having a boyfriend. He said simply, “Become that which you desire.” It is great advice.


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